Don’t Listen to the Demon

20 Nov

Penny wink

The peaceful snore of a basset hound.

The warmth from a cup of tea, feeding energy into my palms.

Hearing the sound of a blender in the morning; the first acknowledgement that my best friend is making breakfast and getting ready for his day.

Laughing with friends over margaritas that I haven’t seen in too long; they are truly family.

These are all things I take for granted every day.  Things that truly make life worth living and enjoyable.  It’s so easy to get lost in translation.  Too often I let the world around me cloud my feelings, judgement, and overall mood.  Too often, I let fear make my decisions for me, keeping me from taking on projects or challenges that I am interested in undertaking.

I am presenting my capstone work tomorrow at the Global Health Symposium at my alma mater, the Colorado School of Public Health.  I will be talking about the relationship I found between malaria severity and increased distance from health care in the Ngorongoro Conservation Area in Northeastern Tanzania.  I worked long and hard on this research, but I still am afraid…of so many things.  What if they don’t think it’s worthwhile? What if they ask me hard questions I can’t answer? What if I don’t present the information well?  These questions have been eating me up all week long.

I have finally come to a realization.  I care about the work.  I enjoy presenting.  I want to disseminate what I have learned.  Who cares if anyone else cares?

I should be living my life for me, not for anyone else.  And that goes for YOU too!

I like to think that this comes easier with wisdom and life experience.  I am so lucky and have so many great people in my life, and yet, I tend to focus on worry, stress, and other emotions that aren’t useful to anyone but my own ego.  Sorry, Ego, I think I’m going to do this on my own.

“Let the demon sit in the corner and have her temper tantrum.  She’ll never go away but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to her.” – Amy Poehler


One Response to “Don’t Listen to the Demon”

  1. Kathy Crawford November 20, 2014 at 10:49 PM #

    Great post, Kacy, and great advice. You’re right. Do it because you want to. And you will be great.

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